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Once you choose hope, anything is possible.

Friday, 3 February 2012

Plans and progress

Well frankly there isn't any progress. At least not on the sewing front. I need to sew the black dress next and I think I've OD'd on black and can't be doing with it.

I had a day off work today, but I did some household jobs and then went off to the nearest big city (Sheffield) to visit a discount outdoor shop. I got some specialist clothing for my hill walking activities, so I was OK with that in that largely my goal for the trip was achieved.
But the whole experience of driving in an unfamiliar large city, having trouble parking, having difficulty finding the things I wanted in an oddly laid out shop, and then getting out of a semi-blocked-in parking space and driving home again left me rather shaky. To the point that I'm not sure I'd go back.

I've had a few over-reactions to things recently though so maybe I need just try and chill a bit and see why I react like that so I can avoid the reaction when a situation occurs I don't like.
The city claustrophobia seems more apparent these days than in the past, though its a long standing issue/personality trait. I realised that I deliberately choose a slightly longer commute (distance wise) to work that involves lanes and countryside (instead of the main congested road) to get my morning 'tree fix', so perhaps the space thing is more of an issue than I have admitted to myself. I am aware I will take stairs to avoid lifts (elevators), choose to sit on the end of rows of seats in crowded place (church, cinemas etc), and walk out of small rooms if there are (what I consider) too many people there. The house I chose to rent is in a large village on the edge of a small town, with garden etc. I could not bear to rent a terraced house because of the closeness of the other houses.

However this afternoon, I was pleased that having got upset being unable to get the car out of the partially blocked space, I was able to calm down again, look carefully at the car, the space, the angle etc, and after about 20 minutes actually extricate the car from the space. (A long vehicle had parked across the back whilst I was in the shop). No vehicles were scraped and I made it home without any great issues. So I guess I triumphed.

I'm planning to go on another group walk tomorrow, and the fresh air and open spaces is infintely more appealing than driving in a big city :-)

Normal updates on sewing related stuff will resume shortly.

6 comments:

Suzy said...

I hate the whole drive to busy town centre, parking, big shopping centre full of people thing. I prefer quieter surroundings. Nature is lovely :) Enjoy your walks!

kbenco said...

I find driving and parking in a city quite unpleasant too.
At least you got what you needed.

Ann said...

I don't mind the city we travel to as it isn't huge. But I do get nervous when going to places like Vancouver. I prefer to park on side streets when down town and use shopping centers. I will also leave stores if they are packed full.

Glad that you got what you needed without too much fuss. And the parking issue you had, I would have been stressed out also. It would have taken me as long to get out of the spot as you did.

Gail D. said...

Ruthie, indeed you did triumph. However, I would like to point out that while you might always have been claustrophobic and anxious as you described, look at all the changes you've had in your life in the last year and a half or so! My God, girl, you've had several of the worst ones, and now another job change. Give yourself a break. Anyone would be more anxious than usual under the circumstances.

Gail D.

Ruthie said...

Gail D, it still annoys me when I am 'odd' even if there is good reason for it. Agreed that 2 moves, a divorce and a job change in 12 months is quite a lot to process. But I need to be able to cope with stuff like this without almost having a panic attack.
I was expecting a big modern store with large parking area, instead it was an odd building in a slightly scruffy end of town with awkward shaped bit of car park. In other cities this has been the part of town with the good value fabric shops but I couldn't bear to stay any longer than necessary so never found out about that part.

Julie Culshaw said...

Hey Ruthie, perhaps you should take a trip to North America and see the space some places have. Texas for instance! the house lot sizes are huge, compared to where I live in eastern Canada. And I understand the claustrophia for sure. You are not abnormal.